一室皆安卧，唯君鼾浪深。

粗声穿静夜，巨响破幽襟。

喉间鸣怒鼓，枕畔起雷音。

断续风云涌，高低雾霭侵。

初闻犹隐忍，久听乱心神。

辗转身难定，徘徊梦不临。

合眸才欲寐，震耳又相寻。

声声催客恼，夜夜扰人今。

良宵空负去，清寐杳难寻。

身心皆疲惫，愁思满素衾。

欲言还隐忍，同室念情深。

奈何酣睡里，浑然不觉音。

幽夜无穷尽，烦忧日日临。

寒窗陪寂寞，孤影伴消沉。

盼得安眠夜，清风静四林。

远离喧嚣扰，好梦慰寒心。

EXCLUSIVE: PETER PARKER IS SPIDER-MAN!HEADLINE: The Unmasked Menace—Child or Criminal?SUBHEAD: Vigilante’s Identity Exposed; Calls for Accountability GrowDATE: December 11, 2021 | New York CityEDITOR-IN-CHIEF: J. Jonah Jameson Maniac. Menace. Mystery? No more!

That’s right, true Buglers! Ever since the masked marauder masquerading as Spider-Man dangled with impunity above our city streets—without a permit, might I add—and took the law into his own web-covered hands, yours truly worked tirelessly to unmask the myth and reveal the truth. And now we have. Peter Parker. Just a boy. And now that the coward has been unmasked, will he do his civic duty and answer for his egregious crimes? Will he use his great power to join the police force? The fire department? Fat chance! Will Peter Parker take responsibility for the vandalism and destruction of property those powers have left smoking in his wake? Ha! Don’t make me laugh ! Parker wore a mask because he refuses to answer for his actions. He kept his identity hidden because he views himself as above the law. But if the Constitution doesn’t allow citizens to vote until they’ve reached the age of 18, why would we continue to let a child decide who is saved and who is guilty? We know he’s made mistakes befor。e. Just ask Quentin Beck. Oh, wait, you can’t! ’Cause Spidey killed him! So if you don’t want to be next, dear reader, join me in this call to the unmasked red-tight-wearing monster: Peter Parker, we are the public, and we will be YOUR judge and YOUR jury. Call the tip line, folks. Let Parker know you’re watching.

SIDEBAR

TIP LINE: 1-800-BUGLE-TIP (1-800-784-3984)
HQ ADDRESS: 39 Second Avenue, New York, NY 10003
READER REACTION: “Finally! Someone told the truth. That kid has no business running wild in our streets.” — M. Carter, Queens Resident

J. Jonah Jameson, Editor-in-Chief
The Daily Bugle | Serving New York Since 1963